I have found the man of my dreams! He spent the day hanging out with my dog - which in and of itself is quite a thing. When I left Ralphie with him he did a funny voice and yelled over Ralphie's excessive barking to talk as if he were Ralphie - a thing that always gets me. When I picked up my abnormally-large beagle, he was in better shape than I he was when I left him - cleaner, excerised and happy. The new object of my affection is clearly a romantic. In what could only be described as a blatant attempt to woo me, he even emptied Ralphie's anal sacks.
And for all of this, I only had to shell out $13. Love is a truly splendid thing!