Potato, Mai-tai-toe.

Call it being homebodies. Call it a love for our pets. Call it a love of our syndicated Law & Order. Whatever you want to call it, it all means the same thing: My roommate and I don’t like going out. For the most part, we spend our time coming up with good ideas and yelling at our pets, tucked away safe inside our metropolitan apartment. So the fact that she and I finally ventured into the world the other day was quite a feat. At first, everything seemed fine – we blended in seamlessly: tuned into the hip, in line with culture, and all set up to be normal people. Then dinner came. It was 4 in the afternoon, and we sat in a hip noodle joint surrounded by other “early birds” complete with their bibs and hall passes from the nursing home. We sat poised ready to continue our charade of normalcy – then came the Drink Menu.

“Play it cool,” we thought. “Just lay low, and no one will be the wiser.”

Our eyes understandably drifted towards the “Crazy Buddha,” which consisted of 60 ounces of delicious booze! “Done!” We thought. “Two straws + Crazy Buddha + us = goooood times!”

“No,” our social-awareness-conscience chimed in. “You must work towards not creating a constant spectacle of yourselves.”

“You’re right,” we thought. “Let us not undo the good done by the nice-times talk we had with the kindly elderly ladies at the table nearest to us. We should present ourselves as young, gentle, graceful ladies. . .

A pitcher of Mai Tai, please! Two glasses!” Ahhh. Subtlety achieved.

I Freakin' Love the Fall!!

I just need to say that I am IN LOVE with the cool, cool breeze pushing through my curtains lately. It blew in last weekend, and BOY, are we having an affair! It makes me cuddle up into my comforter tight at night while light-hearted dreams dance through my head. When it joins me for my walks with Ralphie it carries with it memories of fall - of Halloween and pumpkins and bonfires and multicolored leaves. The Breeze comes in clean, exciting and new and leaves me to feeling safe and at home.

It's almost enough to make it better while everthing falls apart.

Sickette & Tiredena

Okay. I’m ready to drop the pretenses. I am finally ready to put the lies to an end. This is me – honest and true.

Here it is - I am done with the idea of the independent woman. I no longer want to be the free-stylin’, free-livin’, flyin’-by-the-seat-of-my-pants modern lady that I currently present myself as.

I am ready for the knight. I am more than happy to give myself over to someone taking care of me and providing for his “little-lady.” Yeah, I grew up reading fairy tales. So one might think that this was the thing that I have wanted since pigtails and cotton candy, but my fairy tales were a little less sugar and sunshine than the majority of children’s sleepytime dreams. I guess if you spend your time wading through the gore, blood-covered eggs, step-children stew, and sliced & diced princesses to get to the happily-ever-after magical kiss between prince and princess of the actual Grimm Bros., you are a little more ready to work through a lot to get to the H.A.E.

However, I say "enough is enough;" I am done working towards something great. Now I am just ready to have someone come over a couple of times a week, walk Ralphie, do some dishes, give me a backrub and a hot cocoa after picking me up some delectable carry-out dinner, and then be on the way. I am ready for my return trip from Suffragette City. My bags are packed, with my liquids and fluids in my check-in bags, and a US Weekly under my arm. I am ready for my caretaking companion because I am D.O.N.E. taking care of my daddy-less babies and myself. Next!