Ring-A-Ding-Ding, Let’s Have an Adulterous Fling!

They just don’t make ‘em like they used to. Songs, I mean. Anyone who knows me knows my deep and seemingly insatiable love for all things 1950s – you know, the Rat Pack, Tupperware, fitted skirt-suits, misogyny, pies, McCarthyism and so on. So it should come as no surprise that yesterday I found myself listening to The Very Best of Frank Sinatra Disc 2. When track 12 rolled around, I was reminded of one of the great reasons why I love the era, the tunes and that man so much: Old Blue Eyes could get away with murder as long as there was an orchestra playing behind him and some jazzy slang tossed in for good measure. The particular song to which I am referring is J. Mundy and A. Stillman’s “Don’Cha Go ‘Way Mad.” If you are not familiar you should take a minute to check out the lyrics. Basically the entire song is about how this guy was caught by his lady’s cousin canoodling with someone who was not his la-day. (Yiiiiiiiikes!!) The song is apparently a plea for his lady not to leave him. Now that all sounds fairly reasonable – but it is the actual lyrics and the delivery that really make it truly something at which to marvel. The singer “supposes” that the wronged woman has a reason to be mad. Supposes, people! Supposes!!

I don’t honestly know if anyone else ever really made this little jam famous, but I’ve never heard anyone else sing it, and I just can’t imagine anyone else being able to pull it off the way the Chairman of the Board does. Right at the moment when he mentions how he was caught, there is this genius horn-flair, clearly the musical equivalent to a good ol’ “Uh-Oh!” He plays the whole thing off with true suave adulterous flair – “Hey doll, you’re my one and only, baby! I swear dollface!” Cue Lengthy Embrace & Nuzzle while Franky uses his other hand to dial up Girl #6. What a maaan!

Oh Right, the Results are in, or Whatever.

And I deem(ed) him to be Mr. Seymour Doubloon Bagels of the Office Fish Bowl!

Sure certain aunts*of mine might try to steal the name "Doubloon" for their own sushi-sidekicks, but we all know who the true name-genius of this family is. I call him simply "Mr. Bagels" most of the time. I know that there were some great names on that list and suggested (I almost went with "Bob" simply because he kept "playing dead" and hanging out at the top of the bowl. He was really trying to give me a heart attack, the bastard.), but "Mr. Bagels" is kind of an office joke - and you know what they say, "When in an office, name your fish after an office joke!"

The "Doubloon" part of his name has to do with . . .

(God, I can't even bring myself to type it.)

It has to do with . . . fffff--fen----feng shui. (Oh God, I hate myself.) My co-worker told me something about how goldfish represent money or something in crazy feng shui land - but since at the time roommate troubles were causing me money troubles, I thought, "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt." What a sucker I am. I mean, he's not even a freaking goldfish!! But you know what they say about superstitions, "One fish in a bowl with a name based on a superstition that vaguely relates to him in an effort to get his owner more monies is better than two fish outside of the bowl - dead."

*I play the "aunt" card only to annoy the name-stealer-wannabe!

One High-Five, A Hug, and A Stunning Bouquet Later . . .

So the MCAT course is finally finished. I packed up my little MCATkateers with sack lunches, shoe laces tied, and a fist-full of number two pencils and sent them on their way. The real deal was this past Saturday so I took the opportunity to flee the state as fast as I could to take a much needed rest. I snatched up a couple of improv-buddies, jumped in a little car and floored it all the way to lovely Northern Ohio for their annual Improv Conference where I sat back and refused to do anything other than eat, drink, laugh, and drink some more. (Sweet Great Lakes Brewery, why must you be so far away?!)

With the MCAT course finished, it's like my whole life just got 10 times calmer - well at least certain parts of my life - like my work life (hence, my opportunity to blog again). But that sweet calm will only last about a week before I have to kick it into high gear to get ready for the next batch of high-strung, panicked, type A Doctor-wannabes knock down the door.

Until then it's nothing but mint juleps, palm fronds, and front porches for me!

A Meek Attempt to Tide You Over

Life is finally beginning to settle - so more posts will come soon.

Until then - a picture of what I would spend most of my time doing were I a wolf.

(I'd be the one biting.)

Damn, It's Good to be Loved.

I apologize for the recent rash of infrequent posting, but my life has gotten busier than busy plus I just haven't been in a very pleasant mood lately. Today, however, my day was brightened by a bouquet of love, sunshine, happy thoughts, and beautiful flowers delivered to my work courtesy of the best of best friends a girl could ever want, my beloved Boo. What a girl, that Boo. I have never had flowers delivered to my work before. How freakin’ awesome!

What an incredible comfort and thrill to know that no matter what, I know I've got Boo.