Two weeks ago St. Louis was literally* ENCASED in 4 and a half inches of ice, and it was so cold that if you were outside for longer than 17 minutes, your skin would be permanently covered in the frost pattern that would form due to your blood beginning to freeze. This week, the weathermen are calling for the high to be 68 degrees.
Sorry, I didn't give that the right emphasis. 68 degrees!!! Did I mention that it's December?
I've decided that we are those people in the futuristic sci-fi movies that you never get to see. You know, the first generations to witness the initial signs of the eventual decline to whatever apocalyptic state the world has finally reached. That makes us worse than extras! In the movies, those suckers only get the briefest of mentions. We are nothing more than the idiots who ignored the early signs and carried on with their normal, everyday lives - doing nothing to prevent the ultimate collapse of civilization as we know it.
I guess the good side to all of this is that maybe I have a chance of finding the guy who ends up being the hero of the story. Maybe I could find him now and be the first in line for the distressed damsel character in the story.
Oh wait - Damnit! - I forgot that those girlfriends that the hero has before the destruction of civilization as we know it always have to die in the destruction. Their death is usually the kick-in-the-pants/raison d'etre fightin' they need to save the world. At least that character usually comes off pretty well in the story. I guess I could handle having that role because it would, at least, mean that there is a really flattering picture of me that the hero would carry with him and refer to from time to time.
For now, however, I guess I am left with an over-stuffed closet spilling out both winter and summer apparel and two missions. The first being a mission to find that diamond-in-the-rough, scrappy guy, who just might, when pushed hard enough, rally a major force and give Global Warming the ass-kicking he's been asking for. The second, of course, being the mission to find the perfect outifit to wear in my photo.
* "literally," in this sense, meaning metaphorically.