Finally science has told me something I can work with! It's all about balance, folks. I may have to take up drinking coffee stout so that I can reap immediate benefits.
Man, Science, I'm sorry that I thought that you never did anything for me. You really came through on this one. You were the only one who gave me a glimmer of hope when everyone else had given up on me. You're great, Science - a true friend. Thanks, Science!