I work for a test-prep company. This means that most of our telephone conversations at work consist of discussing colleges, the ACT vs. the SAT, course locations and schedules. Needless to say when I answered the phone one day and was asked what the gentleman on the other line should do with his oxen I was a bit taken aback. Now, just so we are clear – this question concerning the placement of livestock was neither preceeded nor followed by heavy panting and the follow-up question had nothing to do with what I was or was not wearing at the time. No, this was an honest inquiry from a man wanting to know what he might be able to do with his ruminants. The thing is that one of my co-workers has a side-job. A side-job that you just don’t get to overhear too many people talking about. I won’t say what it is because I think that it’s more fun for you to guess.
Following is a list of some of the better bits of her conversations that I have been fortunate enough to overhear:
- "You mean Joe the Salt-man? No, that's not a good idea."
- "Okay, I'll bring the bucket and yolk and wooden shoes."
- “You mean for ones who already have their clothes on? I guess I could work out a pay rate for that.”
- "You mean Becky with the pail?"
- "I'm curious to see - they have always been so bad at dressing appropriately"
- "I think she has a hoop skirt."
- "There are 2 vertical logs there - one is the Old Courthouse, the other is the church."
- "I've got two guys who usually work the street for me. They don't usually work for free, but we'll see. - one of them has a dog that could work really well."