The Newest Member of the Family!

Yesterday our little sassmouth family got a little bigger – a Betta Bigger. Yes, upon the recommendation of my beloved uncle and the desire to have someone “to just listen” to me while I’m at work, I decided that I needed a pretty piscine pal* to swim around in a lovely bowl on my office desk. He is very handsome. (I would say “pretty,” but people have been telling me that I am effeminizing him too much.) He is a light peach with dark purple and white fins and tail. His body has a bit of iridescence to it. I am very pleased with this happy addition. (Although I do keep getting sent into a panic when he is sleeping because “I’m certain that this time he is actually dead!”) The one thing other than a net – which I will have to run back to the store to get (Way to go, PetsMart staff for being sooo helpful!)** that my new scaly buddy is lacking is a name. So what I would like to do is put it to a Blog vote. This first vote will probably just narrow it down before a final vote. Also, feel free to put forth some other suggestions as well!
  • King Louie
  • Walter
  • Lunch
  • Dubloon
  • Fancypants
  • Slimey
  • Sassmouth
  • Mort(e)
  • Sushi
  • Dampy
  • Arthur Curry
  • Marco
  • Horshak
  • Scobster
  • Basquiat

Letting the voting begin!

*thanks to Jonathan for the alluring alliteration.

**I apologize for the over-abundance of parentheses in this blog. They all seemed necessary.


Concerned citizen said...

The best part of this post is the assonance in the footnote about alliteration. And the fact that both assonance and alliteration both start with "A". Although "Arthur Curry" was my idea, I'm voting for "Dampy" out of solidarity with "Bitey", and because it makes me laugh more.

Concerned citizen said...

Too many uses of "both" in the above post. Dammit. I new commenting was a bad idea.

concerned citizen said...

And "new" obviously should be "knew". I am an idiot.

Ali said...

I'm a big fan of King Louie and Fancypants. King Louie is funny because bettas are so little and delicate yet so, so flashy - but Fancypants is really fun to say.

I also liked Debloon (sp?) because I forgot how great that word is.

Anonymous said...


neil said...

For some reason, these two names came to me immediately. That means I deserve an award. Someone should get on that, ASAP. You know, I still haven't recieved that teaching award in the mail? Ridiculous, I know.

Paternoster ("Patsy," or simply "Pater")
Little Faggot Pumpkinpants

I am so smart.

Ted Carter said...


Get it? He's in the water, so he moves up and down, which some call bobbing...


Ali said...

Wait, do you keep him at work? Because you, uh, have a cat...

mattcody said...

Great! Betas are good company. Make sure you have a big enough bowl, people love to stick betas in tiny little bowls but that is just cruel. Also change the water once a week. Also never use tap water straight from the faucet without treating it first with some kind of fish water formula or letting the water sit out for a few days.

I like Arthur Curry. And might I humbly add another suggestion?
-Mr. Mxyzptlk

I tried to name my Beta that but all my co-workers yelled at me.

ABJ said...

Hootie McBoob! Hootie McBoob!