I Shall Remain Behind the Door Holding this Iron Skillet Until You Return Attack of the Zombie-Robots Part 4!

Last night I was sitting in my apartment unpacking and shelving some books when I noticed some things out of order and went into a little bit of a panic. “Omigod!” I thought. “Have I been robbed?!” Luckily however, I realized that if I was robbed it was done by a very particular thief who only wanted a couple of DVD’s and videogames. “Thank goodness,” I thought, “Mr. or Mrs. Thief neglected to grab any of the large appliances or any of my diamonds*.” Just as I was trying to get a handle on the thief’s choice in thievery and figure out the entrance/exit route I remembered a very important fact - I have a roommate.

You see my roommate hasn’t been to our apartment for at least the past three weeks (as far as I can tell) which is totally fine with me. I just forgot that this means that he could still stop by from time to time and move things around or whatever.

It is a good thing for me to keep in mind before I plan my next Tea Party for Baby Godzilla, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Mokey the Fraggle, and me in the living room where my childhood friends and I discuss the topics of the day including Bush’s slipping approval rating, Jessica’s latest love tryst, and whether or not these new jeans make me look fat.

*by “diamonds” I meant large, plastic, kitschy jewelry.

1 comment:

neil said...

Probably if he wants to reserve the right to move shit around even though he doesn't actually live there, he should pay 3/4 the rent. It only makes sense. Seriously. Maybe he should pay all of it. Yeah, that sounds good. You should talk to him about that. I could pose as your lawyer if you want.