I'll Get You, Oscar!!

Every year I go through a swing of total Oscar panic from “Oh man – I can’t wait to see that thing I have been all set to see forever!” to “Oh wait, I really don't care about any of that.” This year, however was followed by – "Oh man, I totally forgot about Jon Stewart!” Now I am pretty much totally in love with Jon Stewart. And for the most part I always love those rare long-term Hollywood romances. I have a tendency to applaud and envy those partnerships – but were Jon Stewart to leave his wife mid-babydom for me and li’l Ralphie, I seriously doubt I would shed a sadtown tear.

He makes everything so merry and awesome. I suppose if I had to narrow down the reason for my love it would be connected to the fact that I love watching people at the verge of letting an overabundant amount of sarcasm spilling out of them at a fairly inappropriate time and place. WHich is exactly what he does. He gets this look and just can't handle it.

Three Six Mafia!!! Montages!! Man, neither Jon Stewart nor I could handle the absurdity of these events and though I was able to immediately and openly proclaim these ridiculous turn –of-events to whoever would listen – he, my dear bf, had to present a center level of decorum since he was, you know, presenting the Oscars. He would hold it back and take long pained pauses until finally there would be that moment of “I know that I shouldn’t say what I am I going to say, but I have reached my saturation point” and the sarcasm flows like Niagara.

I just wish that he also expressed my Fear for the Future when J. Lo, star of Maid of Manhattan, The Wedding Planner, and Gigli, is a presenter of the Academy Awards!

Also the “In Memoriam” always brings me way down. I always get the worst sad-shock feeling ever. It is a mixture of this “Oh God, I totally loved that person” with “Wait, who was that person?” and of course, “OMIGOD! When did that person die?” I always wish that it would go on longer so that I could have more time to forget that I hate most of current Hollywood and just focus on the old Hollywood and the people that made it what it was that I miss so. Oh well.


Ali said...

I loved my Jon Stewart, but my favorite bit? Gay Cowboys Throughout History. Sheer brilliance. Lily Tomlin and La Streep were also inspired.

And even though Nicole Kidman is a robot, she's still so damn pretty.

Ali said...

And how come they didn't include Don Knotts in the memorials?