1.20.2006

Re: Clearly, Nudity = Respectability

Today, I am filled to the brim with a big gulp of justice.

As my dad pointed out, he had never seen that local paper do such a long article about one person, but he had also never seen SO many enraged letters to the editor about one article. Ha! There were at least 5-6 letters concerning the article from two weeks ago - you know, the one that made my head spin and my insides flame? Yeah, that one. Anyway, every letter just talked about how awful she is and how she's not funny, and how ridiculous the paper is for printing it, what a hypocrite she is for complaining about being seen only as a sexual item while she is posing nude for her first "exposure." (Pun intended, although we all know that she has had a fair amount of a certain type of exposure for quite some time now.)

Favorite quotes:
  • "As a female comic, I take personal offense to both [my archenemy] (I hope your tits shrivel up and fall off) and [the author] (I feel sorry for anything that has ever been in your mouth)."
  • "However, I do find it interesting that your article was published the same day that Iran declared it was restarting its nuclear program. Coincidence? I think not."
  • "The writer who once described Hanson as 'uncompromisingly artistic' was not fired and has recently published her first feature article, entitled, "[My archenemy] Takes Her Shirt Off...and Thinks It's Funny.' "
  • "The 'joke' most prominently featured in the article is the one in which [my archenemy] expresses her desire to have a man 'put it in her butt.' While I do not doubt the sincerity of [my archenemy]'s desire for the love often only spoken of in prisons, it's not a joke per se, but rather an expression of preference."
  • "What dumbass is comparing [my archenemy] to Sarah Silverman?"
Ahhh, I am at peace now.

8 comments:

Skippy said...

Well admittedly, she is a bit above average in the looks category, her penchant for sodomy not withstanding.

neil said...

Yeah, she looks especially hot with her eyes crossed, her tongue stuck out and her finger in her nose. HELLOOOO, COMEDY!

Tonto said...

Personally I do not find her ghetto arse that appealing.

Steppenwolf said...

Hey now, nothing wrong with a little junk in the trunk.

Tolles said...

As an aside, wasn't the letter writer with the Iran jokes also remarkable unfunny? Just saying.

Amanda said...

I just wish I knew who all these people in black-text were. Hmmm - mysteries.

Brie Johnson said...

To All:
I'm so sorry you didn't get it! I'm making fun of "Sex Sells". Duh!!! I shouldn't have to explain myself to you, but I am a model. I model for Jessica Dana Human Body Art not to be confused with Playboy. To all women: it shouldn't matter how you dress, talk, walk, or tell jokes... people should give you respect. I take it none of you know the business like I do. Take my word for it when I say "shirt on or off, it's very hard being a female comedian". Females do not get the same amount of respect as the guys do. That's just the way it is. So, instead of putting me down you should be supportive of your fellow sisters. Find out the facts first! Study your history! Read a book! My God read the article for what it's about! The article is about the separation in St. Louis, and how is it a white girl can perform in an all black club. You all should realize how RARE that is. When I spoke of respect in the article I was speaking of many things. When I first started out I was told by many to "act like a lady" on stage. I say fuck that! It's the one's that don't play by the rules that get noticed... I'm living proof.

I was told by a very smart man to "use what you got" and I do everyday.

-Brie Johnson
Comedian

neil said...

I wonder if Brie Johnson has written any books on how hard it is to be a woman in the wide-world of comedy. I never knew that before, but now that she told me, I have more respect for her. Now I know why she gets such bad reviews! It's not that she's not funny! It's just that she's a woman!!!!! DON'T GIVE HER SUCH A HARD TIME, GUYS!!!!!! WHEN YOU SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT BRIE JOHNSON YOU ARE SUPPORTING THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!!!!