A couple of days ago I was filled with rage. A different, fiercer rage than most days. It all started when I was going to the bank for work. As I was headed out my boss said that I should check out the latest copy of a certain local paper. So as I left the building I glanced down at the stack of said paper. I was horrified by what I saw below me. Cross-eye-ed-ly staring back at me was a cold, cold slap in the face. You know that one person that you grew-up with that was mean and awful? That person who would be your best friend for awhile before she became best friends with your best friend which also happened to be the same time that she stopped being friends with you at all - as well as around the same time that horrible lies started being spread about me - uh, I mean, you? Yeah, that person. That was the person I found my insides ferociously spinning while looking down upon. That was the person being proclaimed a “Laugh Riot.” That was the person who caused me to storm out of the building - FURIOUS - (and putting that in caps in no way does justice to the true and deep rage that filled me at that moment.) If vandalism wasn’t an arrestable offense, I would’ve broken so many storefronts and windshields between my office building and the bank.
The thing is that I am not angry because she is on the cover of some lame-ass local paper . . . well that is not the main reason for my fury. The main reason that I got so truly angry is that she is being applauded for being FUNNY!!! And she is not funny - like, at all! She was never funny growing up - unless of course you find the lion that chooses the youngest, sickest, most fragile, doe-eyed gazelle to be the one she meticulously painfully rips the flesh off in such a calculated way as to keep the gazelle alive the longest, funny - then she’s HILARIOUS!
I even saw her do standup once and that was awful. All she talked about was butt-sex and how growing up in St. Louis (when she actually grew up in Lake St. Louis which isn’t even in St. Louis county) it used to be way whiter (which is totally true if you are actually talking about Lake St. Louis vs. downtown St. Louis) than it is now that all the “blacks” moved in. God! How can anyone find her even mildly talented?! She is a racist hack - and yet, somehow she is now St. Louis-famous!
Life is so fucking unfair.