"Happy Whore-o-ween" or "No Wonder People Hate our Freedom"

Now I am a Halloween-lover. In fact, if Halloween was a dude, I would totally date it. Hell, with its troubled past, tendency to be cold, and fear of commitment (okay, so maybe that one doesn't relate to Halloween as much), it sounds a lot like most of the men I've dated. In fact with Halloween's recent propensity for young and slutty witches, french maids, and devils it sounds almost identical to, at least, my most recent beaus. That being said, I am a little upset with Halloween's most recent trend.

Let me say I do not tend to be the type o' lady who uses this great holiday to slut-it-up, however I am not totally opposed to those costumes for those who choose. (Well, not as opposed as I am to pre-made costumes like these, which remove any chance of one's imagination having to be used.) If grown-ladies want to use this fantastically spooky day to break out the sexy-construction worker costume, so be it. But I have to draw the line on kid's costumes like these:

I don't even know what this last one is - except that I am honestly terrified of this kid. Look into her slutty-evil eyes! Yike!! I also found this one, but I felt it cruel to post the image and make you look it since it is so disturbing. I'll just say that this is probably close to what Anna Nicole was hoping her baby girl would look like. Consider yourself warned.

What happened to you, Halloween? I know that what we had wasn't the best relationship ever, but when have I ever had a good relationship? But now I just don't know that I can be with a holiday that supports evil, baby, robot-whores like these. I would like to put the blame on Diva and Bratz dolls, but then I see what you've done to Harry Potter and think it might be too late for us.

I'm willing to give you another try, but I just don't know anymore. Maybe if I get to see Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin, I will change my tune.