Oh Right, the Results are in, or Whatever.

And I deem(ed) him to be Mr. Seymour Doubloon Bagels of the Office Fish Bowl!

Sure certain aunts*of mine might try to steal the name "Doubloon" for their own sushi-sidekicks, but we all know who the true name-genius of this family is. I call him simply "Mr. Bagels" most of the time. I know that there were some great names on that list and suggested (I almost went with "Bob" simply because he kept "playing dead" and hanging out at the top of the bowl. He was really trying to give me a heart attack, the bastard.), but "Mr. Bagels" is kind of an office joke - and you know what they say, "When in an office, name your fish after an office joke!"

The "Doubloon" part of his name has to do with . . .

(God, I can't even bring myself to type it.)

It has to do with . . . fffff--fen----feng shui. (Oh God, I hate myself.) My co-worker told me something about how goldfish represent money or something in crazy feng shui land - but since at the time roommate troubles were causing me money troubles, I thought, "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt." What a sucker I am. I mean, he's not even a freaking goldfish!! But you know what they say about superstitions, "One fish in a bowl with a name based on a superstition that vaguely relates to him in an effort to get his owner more monies is better than two fish outside of the bowl - dead."

*I play the "aunt" card only to annoy the name-stealer-wannabe!