My Personal Preference

I've been giving some serious thought to this issue. I think that when something like this comes along, one shouldn't immediately jump to conclusions and make rash judgments. I did at first, and I regret it now. I have, hopefully, redeemed myself however now that I have taken a step back and re-evaluated things. Here now is my thought-through and well-considered opinion:

My rating for these three places to live if I had to live were I forced to live in one (from last preference down):

3. Desert - far too hot, not terribly attractive, filled with snakes, scorpions, and baked and bleached human skeletons stretched out reaching towards the mirage they once saw. And don't even get my started with the sand. Ugh.

2. Antarctica – my original number one due to it being really beautiful and covered with adorable penguins, but ridiculously cold and melting due to Global Warming which would probably just mean that I would have to move around a lot, and I kind of hate moving.

1. Rainforest! - the humidity at first scared me away, but upon further consideration I suppose everyone I would meet would be used to frizzy hair because it is so freaking humid so they probably wouldn't mind. Also the thing that really swayed my opinion is that they've got these:

And, honestly, who wouldn't want a fist full of tiny monkees?! I stand by my decision.

That's Ms. Champagne Cocktail to You!

I've discovered the best thing ever - and I can get two of them for only six bucks by simply walking across the street! I heard about them on NPR. They were talking about bitters-based cocktails making a comeback when they mentioned the magical and elusive Champagne Cocktail. Apparently it was the big-time cocktail of the late 19th century. It sounded delicious so I started asking around about it. I couldn't find any bar that made it until finally one evening I found myself at the bar literally across the street from my apartment. I asked the waitress fully expecting to get the answer I was now all too familiar with ("A what?"), but instead the optimistic bright-eyed spirit-purveyor decided to check with the bartender. Low and behold, the worldy bar-keep had heard of it and seconds later a glass of pink deliciousness sat in front of me with the cutest little bottle of champagne I has ever seen right next to it. Three more adorable champagne-ettes later, I was riding the sparkling pink foam cloud of goodness all the way to old-times land. I'm not sure what the exact recipe is - I would say it is something like 1 part champagne, 1 part bitters, 1 part sours and 2 parts magic fairy dust.

Needless to say, I have now become a regular at this little bar - so much so that the other day when my friends showed up before me, the waitress asked, "Is Champagne Cocktail joining you later?" For most people this is probably some kind of red flag or some other ridiculous thing. For me it is simply a sign that when I find something I like, I embrace it fully!

And as nicknames go, it definitely beats "Demanda".

I Wonder If I Will Make the Final Cut

It seems as though my audition for PBS's Frontier House has finally come to an end. Last Monday my apartment got this great accessory that has now made it quite an adult apartment if I do say so myself: They call it electricity! Have you tried this thing? It makes light bulbs glow and the refrigerator cold. It makes the air conditioning run and my alarm clocks sing their ear-piercing wake-up call once more. I was starting to think that the light bulbs were made to rest my lampshades on, and that my refrigerator was better suited as advanced food-spoiler. The whole event almost had me convinced that the alarm clock was a very unattractive paperweight while my air vents were just oversized hamster tunnels. In the end, my power was off for a total of 4 days. You could smell the rotting food inside my fridge from about four feet away. There was stuff everywhere because at night I couldn’t see where to put where. My legs and arms were black and blue (more than normal) due to excessive bumping into furniture. It is done now – the roommate has left and I can enjoy this rare, beautiful gem without having to tie a key to a kite.

Update

I still don't have power.

I'm still really bummed about it.

My refrigerator has started to smell.

It looks like it might rain today.

It’s a Hard Habit to Break

If we were playing charades after 9pm in my living room, it would look like this:

I keep reaching for the light switch in my bathroom while I am looking at myself in the mirror. Even though I know that the light won’t go on – I keep reaching for it. The same thing goes for playing the radio. For the last couple of days I find myself (as I do every morning) reaching for the “On” button on the radio. I’m standing there knowing that it won’t work, and yet I try it anyway. The same thing goes with any and every electric appliance in my apartment. I know that it won’t work – but my sub conscious clings to some desperate idea of “maybe this time it will work.”

You see none of my electronics work because my power has been turned off. My power has been turned off because my asshole “former” roommate has not paid the electric bill for what must have been something like 3 months or more because the minimum amount the electric company will take to turn it back on is $240!!

I don’t know when it will be turned back on. The asshole in question has not returned my last message I left for him yesterday nor the email that I sent first thing this morning.

I know that there is some humor in this and that, with a little effort, I could right a pretty entertaining post about this – but honestly right now, I just want to go home and watch an episode of Law and Order and drink a cold beer. Too bad that’s not happening any time soon.